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The Journey Back to Myself

My 50lb transformation after the birth no one prepared me for

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The Birth That Shattered My Plans

I had it all mapped out. Natural birth at the birthing centre. The tub. The ambiance. Everything I'd dreamed of for bringing my son into the world.

Reality? 30 hours of back labour that felt like it would never end.

I remember thinking at one point, 'Am I actually going to die?' When they checked me, I was still only 3 centimeters dilated. Can you imagine? All those hours of agony, and I'd barely progressed.

But here's where it got actually hard. My baby Kaizen's heart rate started declining with the contractions and I had to make a choice… Do I keep pushing through or do I let go of everything I'd planned?

I signed the papers for the C-section, that was also my first major surgery, and the outcome I feared most.

I won't sugarcoat it, it felt like trauma. And for months afterward, I carried this guilt... Was it my fault? Should I have done something differently? Could I have tried harder?

But here's what I didn't know then. That birth story was only the beginning of my real struggle.

The Weight That Made Me Feel Like a Stranger to Myself

Overall, I was consumed with shame. Not just from my birth story, but from how much weight I had gained and how far I had let myself go. I felt nothing like myself, inside or outside, and my mental health wasn't just struggling… I was drowning.

Focus on 1 thing a day. Just really focus on 1 thing that you can do for yourself. And once you've done that, great job. Congratulate yourself.

One thing. Not a complete transformation overnight. Just one small thing. I could do that, right?

When This Trainer Became a Complete Beginner

Here's the part that really humbled me.

I wasn't just any new mom struggling to get back in shape. I was a certified fitness trainer that had helped countless people on their fitness journeys.

But when I did that first lunge after giving birth, my pelvic floor completely gave out. I was like, wow, okay, this is how it feels to be a complete beginner.

I had to relearn everything, and actually re-teach myself how to exercise. Starting from absolute zero with that overwhelming feeling of being completely lost I forgot how it felt.

And you know what? That experience became the greatest gift because it showed me something crucial.

We're not beginners just once in our lives. We're beginners at multiple times because of what life throws at us, because of what we put our bodies through.

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The Journey Back: What Actually Worked

Let me be clear, my transformation didn't happen overnight. It took 8 to 9 months of consistent effort to lose the 50 pounds.

But the real journey was about so much more than numbers on a scale.

Here's what I learned:

I started slow

8 weeks post-C-section I began pelvic floor work and light exercises. I didn't add impact training until 10 to 12 weeks. And if I could do it again, I'd give myself even more grace in those early weeks.

I built an unshakeable routine

After I lost the weight, I became so attached to my workout routine that I couldn't go 2 to 3 days without exercising because my body craved it and my mind needed it. That's the power of consistency.

I focused on healing from the inside out

That sagging lower belly pooch? It didn't disappear from random workouts. I had to heal my diastasis recti, the ab separation that happens during pregnancy. Targeted pelvic floor exercises and exercises that bring the abs back together, not apart, were what made the real difference.

It also took me a long time to become okay with the stretch marks I initially struggled with. But now when I look down at them and think, you know what, my body and my mind have changed and I'm happy about that.

I am so much more than what my body looks like or the marks on my body. They helped me bring life into this world, but they're also a reminder that I am forever changed. And that's not a sad thing.

If You're Just Starting: My Biggest Advice

If you're reading this and feeling stuck, unmotivated, or miles away from where you want to be, I need you to hear this.

You can do this. I know it sounds cliché, but you absolutely can.

First, you've got to believe in yourself and know that you are worth putting in that effort.

And second? Start ridiculously small.

I feel like so many of us make the mistake of trying to go in full force. We try to do those 1 hour workouts, to eat perfectly from day 1 to day 6. And then day 7 comes, we mess up or we feel like we're falling off and we think, 'I might as well throw in the towel.'

Don't do that.

Start with 10 minutes. Just 10 minutes of taking time for yourself. Make it a part of your routine and build on that.

As you build on that, and as you realise, okay, I can stay true to my word, I can show up for myself even in these small things, you'll start to add and do bigger things and show up for yourself even more consistently.

That's why I always say 10 minute workouts are effective. At this moment, it's not about burning calories, it's about building a routine, a habit. One that helps you start to believe in yourself more and more to see your confidence building.

What Changed After 50 Pounds

My transformation wasn't just physical, it was everything. I went from crying daily and feeling mentally broken to creating the growwithjo Youtube channel, now with over 8M subscribers.

I turned my darkest struggle into my greatest purpose.

Because I realised something. If I could help just one woman feel less alone, if I could show just one woman that they're not behind, that they're not failing, that they can start again... then every bit of that struggle was worth it.

From there, I started to build programs to give structure to the women who kept telling me they didn't know where to start, or how to keep going when they felt so unmotivated. I didn't want women showing up for one video, then disappearing because they had no plan, no support, no sense of progress.

So I built the GWJ Home app.

A place where women don't have to guess what workout to do next. Where consistency matters more than intensity. Where workouts fit real life, whether they have 5 minutes or a full hour.

Where beginners, postpartum moms, and women starting over feel safe and guided, not overwhelmed.

I see the GWJ Home app not as a replacement for Youtube, but as the next step. A structured, supportive space to turn movement into a habit, build confidence over time, and feel part of something with a community, instead of doing it alone.

Because You Are Not Alone

If you're that woman feeling stuck in a body that doesn't feel like yours, if you're struggling to start again, if you feel worthless or so far from where you want to be... I see you. I've been you.

I'll tell you what my husband told me years ago: start with 5 minutes. Do one thing. Build that routine. Prove to yourself that you can do small things consistently.

Because when you're willing to start with the small things and be humble in your approach, you will get where you want to be.

With Love, Jo | growwithjo

You've got this.
With love,
Jo 🤍